I'd like to think i'm hitting some kind of stride with this job - and this trip (this whole experience) in new York: But i'm not. I'm seeing with eyes I never expected to be wearing.

The boggest (the bloggest - I meant BIGGEST) problem here is the crush i have on sarah. I may as well have a toothache, or hemmorhoids (sp?). or maybe that's just the symptom. And the problem is something deeper! An inner hole! (no wait - SHE has that) I never get crushes anymore, and for fucking good reason. They're not fun. Having a crsuh makes the object of your desire HATE you. So dumb.

I almost went to stay with terry i was beginiing to feel so lousy here. It doesn't matter becasue all i do is sleep and watch DVDS anyway. Fortunately the work is going not bad - though tonight Phil remarked that the single shot we did of Carmella looked like a Mexican soap opera. I thought it looked like dogshit. i winced when the camera rolled. It's going to happen on hinky little movies. Ouch, it hurts though.

I miss the dog. i fear my dad may have taken his love away from me. BooBoo and I make a great team. If he was here i'd own this town.

I'm doing one-arm push-ups now. By the end of the film i want to do 25 per side.