Now it's hot.

I'm smokeless. Hanging out in mid-air. Grinning and then vibrating at turns. It's hard to believe I finally got through one night without walking down to Lee's Liquors and saying Gimme a Goddman pack of Winston Lights! To my friends at the store this is how I am. They know me and they know what fiend I am.

Cigarettes made me cool. It was like I'd rewired myself and bypassed everyone goddamn else. As a smoker you can easily blow everyone off. I'd just be off in a puff of smoke. Like an octopus and to fuck with you! And then not smoking is just so completely other. Now I'm red hot. Everything is hot. I'm hot when I sleep. I'm hot when I wake up. I'm hot to trot. I could burn through a sheet of plywood just by yelling at it. And life won't leave me alone when I'm like this. It's something to do with the eyes. I just stare and ogle at everything. I take it all in. I engage people with my eyes. The way I've always done, and historically gotten into so much trouble for.

And of course I'm full of desire.